[G1 AU] Hate the Dark (part 4)
Dec. 11th, 2007 01:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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deceptikittyTitle: Hate the Dark
Arc: 'Til All Are One
Rating: R
Characters: Optimus Prime, Starscream
Summary: After Cybertron's destruction, two survivors wait out their final months after crashing on a forsaken and dangerous planet.
I tried to concentrate on something other than the noises, other than Starscream's work, other than our situation. Anything else. My chewed up arm was as good a distraction as any, and it needed to be fixed anyway. Self repairs would only do so much without a little incentive and manual repairs of my own.
I hated the fact that I once again jumped upon hearing the warbling, keening cries of the awful flying creatures outside. The sound could be considered musical if it came from a more pleasant beast. Starscream wasn't exaggerating when he spoke of them only a week ago. Even with both my optics fully functional again and my night vision enabled, it was very hard to see them, and there were so many...
When the planetary eclipse started, I was already outside, the boulder settled in front of the cave save for a small crack for the last of the light to keep Starscream from panicking. I stood vigilant atop the cliffs above the cave, watching the gas giant ascend in the horizon with my rifle ready in my hands in front of me. The rings arced high in the sky, so high I had to crane my neck back to see the curve. I couldn't help myself - I locked away the image in a part of my memory block, finding it very beautiful as the rings made the light from the yellow sun dance over the landscape. You just don't see anything like this on Cybertron or Earth. It's as captivating as it is ominous.
The grey planet already concealed the blue sun behind me, and the yellow sun was about to disappear behind the gas giant, leaving the planet bathed in red light for nearly a cycle before its light too was broken up by the gas giant's rings. As an eerie dusk began to darken the planet, I heard a strange noise that made me turn away from the disappearing suns, turning instead to where the blue sun once was.
It's hard to describe the sound they made - an almost musical crow that wafted into the air from the spires in the distance. They were already shadowed, and the darkness was growing by the astrosecond, so I switched my optics to night vision in preparation. We only needed one of these new creatures to complete our experiment to see if we could use them instead of the snakes.
Why is it that nothing is ever easy?
At first, it looked as if there was a single, enormous version of the snakes extending its head from each spire. It wasn't until the "head" started to spread that I realized it wasn't one creature but a cloud of many, hundreds erupting from each spire and pinwheeling into the dark sky. It was impossible to count them, and I took a step back unconsciously when I realized this. There were so many more of these creatures than there were the snakes I had been hunting, it was shocking, and I must have just stood there and stared stupidly for nearly a breem before I was brought out of my shock by a tiny sliver of light that streaked over the landscape before the red sun disappeared completely behind the gas giant and plunged the planet into a pitch black darkness in which I was only spared by my night vision.
I don't know what I would have done without the ability to see in that total darkness - been killed, probably. How fast those awful creatures descended upon me was stunning - before I knew it, there were at least a dozen latched onto me, trying to chew through my armor. I fired blindly in a moment of panic before activating the headlights in my chassis from my alt form. The screech of pain from the monsters was deafening as they bolted away from me, some tumbling from the air in a writhing mass of smoke as the light scorched their skin.
Still panicked and startled, I spun in a circle several times to try to make myself a perimeter as well as shake loose those still clawing at my back. Two larger creatures lunged at my right arm and made short work of shredding it before I was able to shoot them both and snatch them by their tails. At a safe distance from my lights, I could see more of the foul beasts killing and devouring the snakes, and some were even devouring each other. On a planet so lifeless otherwise, I was amazed that these creatures had not completely eradicated themselves while hiding underground away from the suns. Unless there were other beasts lurking underground. That thought was not at all appealing.
Making my way back to the cave without tripping on the slope was tricky, but I was determined enough to keep the beasts away to manage it. I kept turning slow circles to make sure they kept their distance on all sides, but they followed me with every step I took, keeping a tight circle around me. I don't think I have ever before felt so vulnerable or desperate, and I was immensely relieved when I was finally able to press my back to the rock so I didn't have to continue turning.
It was then that I heard a scraping noise and looked to my right to see two of the beasts clawing at the boulder blocking off the cave, trying to dig through the small crack I had left. Bright flashes made them flinch back repeatedly as, I assume, Starscream fired his null ray at the boulder to keep them away. Either that or to make himself some light. Or both.
The beasts fled my own light once I was close enough, and I called to Starscream to make sure he stopped firing while I was trying to get back inside. Being hit by his null ray while I was outside with these ravenous monsters was the last thing I wanted. It took several excruciatingly long and careful moments to ease back the boulder enough for me to get back inside while making sure I didn't let any of the monsters in as well. In order to do so, I had to keep my back to the boulder which just made the task even harder, but I finally managed to toss the two dead beasts at Starscream and close off the entrance, blocking us from the outside world.
That was two full cycles ago. My headlights were still on to give Starscream light as he worked with the bodies of the monsters and the energon converter. I didn't want to distract him since he was working with such focus, and I didn't really need to ask him what he was doing anyway. He was trying different body parts at a time, the brain first, then the blood, making one cube out of each part, and he was waiting for the results for the final component in the first creature, its bones.
A bright flash and a small explosion against the boulder covering the cave entrance told me everything I needed to know since five previous cubes had met the same fate. It was toxic no matter what body part he used.
"Is it still better than the snakes?" I asked when he furiously kicked away the second creature's body and rubbed his face wearily.
"It's worse," he growled. "Ingest one made from these things, and I don't know what will happen, but it'll be worse than hand tremors."
I thought back to what I had seen - how the flying beasts were killing every single snake they could find as well as each other. By now, there may not have been any snakes left in the area.
"What are we going to do?" I really shouldn't have asked that. Neither of us knew. We had been focused on the hope that the new creatures would make less poisonous energon than the snakes, so we had not had a contingency plan.
At least he didn't snap at me for asking it, a testament to how tired he was as well. He just leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling of the cave, lost in thought for quite a while.
I looked back down at my arm and gave a small shudder; I was still amazed at the amount of damage those awful things had done in less than a moment. Most of the outer plating was gone from my shoulder all the way to the tips of my fingers. It looked grisly, but, thankfully, it didn't hurt nearly as much as it looked like it should. Still, I worked to kickstart my internal repair systems to close off the wounds, not wanting dirt to get into my wiring.
"Hook it up to me," Starscream finally spoke after nearly another cycle. I looked up from where my arm was almost closed up with thin, emergency sheeting, confused. "The converter," he clarified. "Hook it up to me."
I couldn't imagine why he wanted me to do that. Actually, I could, and I didn't like the conclusion I came to and had no problem telling him just that.
"No. That's not only contradictory to what we're trying to do, it's also dangerous given your condition."
"Don't be stupid," he scoffed. "I'm not going to siphon my own energy. Energy and biofield spikes can provide just enough power to fill a cube. Now hook the slagging thing up to me."
I knew what he was saying, but it still took me a moment to truly accept it even as I did as he told me, connecting him to the energon converter through a hole in the glass of his cockpit. "Spikes...?" I repeated stupidly as he turned on the converter and made a cube to fill. Surely, he wasn't serious or at least didn't mean what I thought he meant.
"You know what I mean," he grumbled, raising his hand to his throat where his fingers began to manipulate the sensitive plating around his throat. Okay, he was serious. "Systemic overload through either interfacing or intense pain is the highest concentration of energy we can release with our own bodies short of siphoning," he clarified even though I wasn't quite listening at that point. "I ought to be able to make two or three before I get too tired."
"Y-You're not suggesting..." I trailed off, hoping he wasn't. To be honest, I'm not sure if I was disappointed or relieved when he snorted in response.
"No, I wouldn't dream of having the High and Mighty Optimus Prime do such a thing to a lowly Decepticon." The sarcasm was sharp enough to cut. "I have one hand left - I can use it." At my stupefied stare, he stopped his ministrations long enough to return the expression of incredulity. "Don't tell me you've never heard of self-stimulation."
I tried to look offended when, in fact...no, I hadn't ever heard of that before. I'd never known such a thing was possible - to send oneself into sensory overload without a partner? I mentally swatted myself for the thought that bubbled into being that only Starscream could have thought of such a thing. "But..." I started then trailed off again, not sure what I was going to say anyway. I didn't quite want to believe what he was proposing he do, but as he then pointed out:
"Do you have any better ideas?" he snapped, making me flinch in spite of myself. I didn't, and he knew it, so he didn't wait for an answer, concentrating on fondling his own throat, trailing his fingers over plates and cables I knew had to be sensitive to that kind of touch if they were anything like my own. "I need you to watch the converter and switch out cubes when they fill up - we can worry about actually converting them later." He caught my pensive, and probably embarrassed, expression and glared at me. "Either shut up and concentrate on the converter or quit acting like a wibbling idiot and help me out. I can't do this very quickly with just one hand." That snapped me out of my shocked stupor, and I meekly dragged the energon converter over to me and turned my back to him.
Wibbling idiot? I wanted to be offended, but I couldn't be - the vocabulary reminded me too much of the twins. He had a point even though I was still reeling from the fact that he'd even thought of it, much less was doing it. The energon made from such a comparatively weaker source of energy wouldn't be very strong, but at least it wouldn't be toxic, and even if he could only make two, it would only take one to get his own energy back up, so we would still be able to profit from it.
That didn't make it any less wrong that I was witnessing it though. Systemic overload is something which should be shared only with one you trust, and I knew he didn't trust me even after all this time. He trusted me enough to check his gruesome wounds, but that was it. What he was doing was special, it was private, it was...
...actually working.
The tiny sparks dancing inside the cube and mocking my embarrassment were proof of that. It was far from usable, but he seemed to be determined to make it work. I just wished I could turn off my audio receptors as easily as I could my optics.
Since the cube was filling slowly, I tried to find something else to concentrate on other than what he was doing right behind me. I dragged the still intact corpse of the second creature over to me to examine it since I hadn't had a chance while fleeing them earlier and had busied myself with my arm afterward.
It looked a lot like the snakes, confirming Starscream's theory that the snakes had evolved from the flying beasts. Its mouth was nearly identical though it split into five wedges instead of six to form a gruesome star, each still rowed with dozens upon dozens of razor sharp teeth. It had no eyes that I could find and probably saw using some sort of sound generation which would explain the crooning noise they made.
It had two sets of wings; the two closer to its shoulders were nearly as long as my arm with very few bones just along the top ridge. The rest of the wing was nothing but thick, leathery skin and muscle. The two wings below those were the exact same but only half as long. It amazed me that they could fly with such strange, primitive wings that seemed to be so limited in range of movement, but alien life never ceases to defy expectations, especially those of a non-explorer like myself who wasn't accustomed to discovering new forms of life.
I jumped and swore inwardly when Starscream's vents hissed to life behind me to cool his systems. I had almost forgotten what he was doing in my scrutinizing of the monster. Since I was distracted anyway, I took the opportunity to check on the energon cube and was surprised to see that it was already full. Quickly switching it with an empty one to resume the process, I held up the full one to examine the energy dancing inside it. It was a bright blue lightning, not unlike the sparks that danced over one's body after overload which I supposed made sense considering what he was doing to make it.
Slag me - I had to think about that, didn't I?
I shook my head and returned to examining the flying creature, quickly deciding that I needed to think of something to call it other than "flying creature" or any other incarnation - the snakes were easy to refer to; these things were not unless I named them myself. I wanted to ask Starscream if he had assigned a name to them when he originally surveyed the planet, but that would require interrupting him and possibly turning around to face him, so I would think of my own name for them if only temporarily.
Its tail was long enough to wrap around my leg twice, and it had no back legs, only two tiny arms placed near where I assumed its chest was, bearing on each hand three claws as long as my own fingers. Unlike the snakes whose heads were rounded and undecorated, these beasts had bony crests at the base of their skull. I couldn't see any practical use for them unless they acted to reduce wind resistance when they flew. All of these observations brought to mind something I had seen in the folklore of Earth so many years ago - a mythical creature with bony, webbed wings, a serpentine body, no back legs, and two small arms. The images I remembered were only barely similar, but they were similar enough for me to decide to, at least for now, refer to these beasts as wyrms.
Unfortunately, deciding on the name meant I no longer had a distraction.
I idly ran my fingers over the new, thin plating covering the wounds on my arm, noting how sensitive it was which was understandable. It felt as if my fingers were brushing across the circuitry directly. Emergency plating was much, much thinner than normal covering, designed to close wounds during times of crisis and nothing more - just long enough to keep vital circuitry covered from the elements and further injury until someone medically trained could be reached to fully repair the wounds. Unfortunately, we had no such facilities, so the emergency plating was going to be permanent for as long as we remained on this Primus forsaken planet. Considering how much of it now covered my arm, it didn't bode well. I would possibly lose function of my arm if it sustained further damage. As long as we didn't have to go back outside for any reason and face the wyrms, I would be okay, but a year is too long to plan ahead so far when there are so many unpredictable factors.
I looked up at the cave ceiling to watch how the shadows cast by my headlights played along the rock, thinking about that. If this really did turn out to be the only way we could make the non-toxic energon we needed to survive, I couldn't stay embarrassed about it forever, and a more rational part of me pointed out that, if that was the case, I also couldn't expect Starscream to be the only one to do all the work making it. That thought made me even more embarrassed and almost disgusted. The disgust was what surprised me. I expected the embarrassment, possibly even humiliation, at the thought of trying to stimulate myself into overload, but the disgust was surprising. I suppose it was the thought of him watching and listening to me. At least I wasn't watching him even if I could still hear him.
It was then that I realized I hadn't actually heard much, and that realization derailed my train of thought yet again. For one so outspoken and...well, screechy all the time, he was being extremely quiet, especially considering what he was doing. I took a moment to switch the second cube for a new empty one before I let my curiosity get the better of me and glanced over my shoulder.
If his silence had bestowed upon me any doubts that he really was doing what he said he would, the expression on his face quickly dissipated them. His optics were dim, his head tilted back to rest against the cave wall, his mouth was open as if he wanted to make some noise of pleasure but couldn't, and he looked to be in complete ecstasy. His hand was busy tracing his fingers over something inside a crevice in his armor, the junction between his thigh and pelvic armor. I couldn't imagine what it was, but every time he touched it, a shudder coursed through him, his hips squirming on the ground in an attempt to make it more accessible. Whatever he was manipulating was extremely sensitive. His vent was working hard to keep his systems cool, what remained of the other vent sputtering pitifully in its attempt to do its share. Embarrassed though I was, I was also...intrigued.
He wasn't involving his spark at all, and that was very interesting. That was probably why I had never heard of self-stimulation before - the fact that he was able to gradually bring himself to overload with only touch was unheard of among Autobots, not just to me. Stimulating the right cables, circuits, and plating was only a precursor, what humans called foreplay, but what brought us to true sensory overload was the joining of two lovers' spark energy, something which could not be experienced alone.
I couldn't help myself at that point, too curious and intrigued - I watched his hand as he continued to toy with whatever was so sensitive in his leg, watched how it made his whole body quiver. His hand reluctantly left his leg and went up to the intake on his chest, fingers tracing around the edge before his hand went back to his throat, fingers twisting a wire that made him jerk in response. I could tell he didn't have much control over his hand at this point considering the way his fingers were trembling, marking how close he was as he moved it back down to that spot in his leg. It only took a moment longer for his whole body to seize up in overload - his back bowed, sparks of blue danced over the exposed circuitry in his side, and he shuddered convulsively for several moments, his leg and hand jerking together as he rode out the sensations, trying, probably unconsciously, to draw it out as long as he could, and, curiously, not once during the entire sequence did he make a sound.
I looked away when he finally slumped back against the cave wall, quivering from aftershocks. I felt filthy for watching something which was supposed to be private, but I couldn't find my voice to apologize for it - all I could do was look away. I was shocked to see that the third energon cube had already been completely filled, primarily by the sensory overload. It was still strange that such an act could possibly save us or at least hold us over until the suns rose again.
"How many?" he croaked once he was coherent enough to speak, probably still too tired to ask the whole question though I knew what he meant.
"Three," I answered. How convenient that my voice now decided to work. I didn't look at him when he sighed disappointedly, instead busying myself removing the third cube and placing it with the first two. I couldn't shake the shame I felt for watching when I could have easily looked away, but at the same time, I also couldn't shake the curiosity and intrigue that stemmed from watching. Such a powerful overload just from touch...it was unfathomable, yet he had just managed it - I had the proof in front of me flickering inside the third cube, and staring at it, I couldn't help but wonder if I could do that.
The thought was embarrassing and shameful, but I wondered it nonetheless and even found myself trying to think of how best to do it. Curiosity is sometimes a very bad thing.
The converter had automatically made a fourth cube to fill, and I jumped when I noticed a blue spark flickering in it. I looked sharply back to Starscream to see his fingers digging back into that junction in his leg. He was exhausted, but he was trying to do it again, not satisfied with the small number he had made.
"Stop that!" I snapped, appalled, and reached forward to jerk the cable out of him. I earned a surprised and stupefied stare from him. It was vaguely reminiscent of the first day he had awakened when I had offered him the first energon cube and he stared at me as if I was crazy for not taking it for myself. "You're weak enough - if you try that again before recovering, you could do permanent damage to yourself."
"It needs to be done," he countered heatedly. "We're both way too low - three isn't enough, especially since it's going to be low quality anyway."
"Then I'll do it." That completely slipped out without warning, but I couldn't take it back. Besides, it was the truth. I hated it, but it was only fair - I couldn't expect him to do everything, especially in his condition, and, after all, I had watched him. It was only fair that I reciprocated.
And I was still curious as to whether or not I could do the same thing.
He gave me a look which I could only assume was shock, but he didn't say anything as I moved the energon converter over to him so he could switch out the cubes. I couldn't bring myself to look at him anymore as I pulled open my access panel in my torso just below my chest plate and hooked myself up to the converter and fidgeted from embarrassment, still trying to figure out how best to go about something I had no idea was even possible before then.
Sighing inwardly, I tried to just swallow my pride and stared off to the side, finding a very interesting patch of rock to analyze as my right hand drifted up to my still intact antenna, thinking of the areas that had felt best when stimulated by others in the past. While I certainly had not been with as many as Starscream probably had, if rumors could be believed at all, I had still been with a few very skilled Cybertronians who had mapped out my pleasure points to find the places that made me squirm the most. I just had to remember where they were for myself-
There it was.
I quickly shut off my vocal processor before any noise could escape my throat. I was embarrassed enough about this, and while Starscream was disturbingly quiet during his sequence, I...well, I'm loud. Loud enough that about seven members of the Autobot army once broke into my quarters thinking I was being murdered only to find an infuriatingly amused Jazz on top of me with his hands inside my chassis. Slag him for being such a tease. I briefly wondered if Starscream had done the same and that was why he had been so quiet, but my fingers found that spot on my antenna again, and I couldn't be bothered to think about that anymore.
I shut off my optics in a feeble attempt to pretend I was alone as signals sent to my central processor began to heat my body, gears and cables beginning to hum in vibration. I'm not sure which surprised me more - the fact that it was working or the fact that I was aroused so quickly. Then again, my antennae had always been one of the more sensitive parts of my body, that and a bundle of wires behind my pelvic armor. At least the sensitivity of my antennae made sense - they had to be to analyze and receive airborne communications and other environmental changes though I was not nearly as proficient at the task as Jazz and Prowl. The wires in my pelvic area were probably sensitive because they were so rarely exposed.
I'm not quite sure when I quit acting like a "wibbling idiot" and finally allowed myself to relax enough to enjoy what I was doing. I momentarily completely forgot about where I was and who I was with and focused instead on old memories of Jazz's claws in my chest strumming various wires I didn't even know I had at the time just to see how much he could get me to squirm. He could be downright infuriating when he tried, but then he'd dig a claw underneath a panel, and I'd stop caring. I think I bucked his smaller frame right off of me a few times, but he never complained. In fact, I think it just amused him more.
Since I was already delving into the land of memories, I dug further back to a time before we knew Earth existed, and I found one of my favorite memories of Elita-1. We were just friends for the most part - it was a coupling of convenience fueled only by lust, but we neither complained nor regretted it. She had talented hands too, and just like Jazz, she seemed to get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of seeing how much she could get me to squirm. Her favorite area to tease me was that bundle of wires in my pelvic area, and I remember how she used to take each one between her slender fingers and stroke every visible part from top to bottom.
I was startled out of my reminiscing when my whole body began to shake. My optics flickered, and I could feel a swell of energy in my chest coming from my spark chamber as it tried to send out a pulse to a lover who wasn't there. With my chest closed though, the pulse had nowhere to go but back inside me, dispersing through every wire and circuit in my body, and just as the first faded, that sent me into an immediate second overload which made me lose my grip on my vocalizer, and I let out a choked scream that echoed through the cave.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to quit trembling and stop staring blankly at the wall in front of me, my vents and the smokestacks on my shoulders working hard to cool my overheated systems. When I finally tore my gaze from the rock, humiliation washed over me anew as I looked down to find my hand still inside my pelvic armor. I had wrenched the right side loose while I was lost in memories and sensations. Mortified, I quickly closed it and latched it shut then just sat staring at my hands in my lap for a while. I had never done such a thing before, and it was humiliating not only to know I had an audience for it but also to have overloaded myself twice doing it, and much as I wanted to, I couldn't deny that I'd enjoyed it immensely. A greater sense of shame came over me when I realized the fact that I did have an audience was actually a little arousing. Still, I couldn't bring myself to look up from my lap - I didn't want to see if he had watched the whole thing or minded his own business.
A small energon cube dropped into my lap and tore my attention from my embarrassment, and I reluctantly glanced over to my right to see him work on converting a third cube with the machine, the second already processed cube in his mouth where he was sucking it for all he was worth to ingest every last drop of energon. It was stupid to feel a little better just because he wasn't looking at me, but I did anyway. I made short work of the cube he passed me and let my head roll back to rest against the cavern wall with a relieved sigh as I felt the non-toxic energy spread through my systems. I hadn't had non-toxic energon in far too long, and I'd nearly forgotten how good it felt, much better than the way the wyrm-made energon burned my piping and made me twitch all over. It wasn't the best quality, but it would do nicely.
"How many?" I finally had the nerve to ask, keeping my gaze on the rocky ceiling. The embarrassment was returning now that I was somewhat re-energized, and once again, I couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Six," he answered after he was satisfied the cube he had been working on was completely drained dry. "So nine total." That just embarrassed me even more since he was only able to make three. Granted, I had my whole body while he only had half. Plus, he hadn't overloaded twice... "The quality's barely worth it," he was saying, "but it's better than that corrosive slag you've been making. It'll at least keep us alive." I nodded and finally looked at him again, reluctantly convincing myself that I couldn't refuse to look at him forever just because I was embarrassed, especially since this would have to become a regular occurrence to keep us functioning properly. "Wibbling idiot" indeed.
He was stretched out as best he could get, fingers drumming against his thigh very near to the place he kept stimulating earlier. It was then that I noticed the exposed circuitry in his side was sparking faintly as it had when he had overloaded himself earlier, something which should have stopped quite a while ago. His intakes and vents were still humming to cool his systems as well, and his optics were dimmed slightly and a little glazed.
Even I didn't need long to figure out what he had done, and the realization that he had overcharged himself again while watching me was even more humiliating than the fact that he had simply watched. He countered my horrified stare with a grin that seemed to say, About time you figured it out.
The grin widened as he opened his mouth to speak, and I shook my head vigorously. Don't you say it - don't you dare say it--
"If it's any consolation, you put on quite a show."
"I hate you."
Arc: 'Til All Are One
Rating: R
Characters: Optimus Prime, Starscream
Summary: After Cybertron's destruction, two survivors wait out their final months after crashing on a forsaken and dangerous planet.
I tried to concentrate on something other than the noises, other than Starscream's work, other than our situation. Anything else. My chewed up arm was as good a distraction as any, and it needed to be fixed anyway. Self repairs would only do so much without a little incentive and manual repairs of my own.
I hated the fact that I once again jumped upon hearing the warbling, keening cries of the awful flying creatures outside. The sound could be considered musical if it came from a more pleasant beast. Starscream wasn't exaggerating when he spoke of them only a week ago. Even with both my optics fully functional again and my night vision enabled, it was very hard to see them, and there were so many...
When the planetary eclipse started, I was already outside, the boulder settled in front of the cave save for a small crack for the last of the light to keep Starscream from panicking. I stood vigilant atop the cliffs above the cave, watching the gas giant ascend in the horizon with my rifle ready in my hands in front of me. The rings arced high in the sky, so high I had to crane my neck back to see the curve. I couldn't help myself - I locked away the image in a part of my memory block, finding it very beautiful as the rings made the light from the yellow sun dance over the landscape. You just don't see anything like this on Cybertron or Earth. It's as captivating as it is ominous.
The grey planet already concealed the blue sun behind me, and the yellow sun was about to disappear behind the gas giant, leaving the planet bathed in red light for nearly a cycle before its light too was broken up by the gas giant's rings. As an eerie dusk began to darken the planet, I heard a strange noise that made me turn away from the disappearing suns, turning instead to where the blue sun once was.
It's hard to describe the sound they made - an almost musical crow that wafted into the air from the spires in the distance. They were already shadowed, and the darkness was growing by the astrosecond, so I switched my optics to night vision in preparation. We only needed one of these new creatures to complete our experiment to see if we could use them instead of the snakes.
Why is it that nothing is ever easy?
At first, it looked as if there was a single, enormous version of the snakes extending its head from each spire. It wasn't until the "head" started to spread that I realized it wasn't one creature but a cloud of many, hundreds erupting from each spire and pinwheeling into the dark sky. It was impossible to count them, and I took a step back unconsciously when I realized this. There were so many more of these creatures than there were the snakes I had been hunting, it was shocking, and I must have just stood there and stared stupidly for nearly a breem before I was brought out of my shock by a tiny sliver of light that streaked over the landscape before the red sun disappeared completely behind the gas giant and plunged the planet into a pitch black darkness in which I was only spared by my night vision.
I don't know what I would have done without the ability to see in that total darkness - been killed, probably. How fast those awful creatures descended upon me was stunning - before I knew it, there were at least a dozen latched onto me, trying to chew through my armor. I fired blindly in a moment of panic before activating the headlights in my chassis from my alt form. The screech of pain from the monsters was deafening as they bolted away from me, some tumbling from the air in a writhing mass of smoke as the light scorched their skin.
Still panicked and startled, I spun in a circle several times to try to make myself a perimeter as well as shake loose those still clawing at my back. Two larger creatures lunged at my right arm and made short work of shredding it before I was able to shoot them both and snatch them by their tails. At a safe distance from my lights, I could see more of the foul beasts killing and devouring the snakes, and some were even devouring each other. On a planet so lifeless otherwise, I was amazed that these creatures had not completely eradicated themselves while hiding underground away from the suns. Unless there were other beasts lurking underground. That thought was not at all appealing.
Making my way back to the cave without tripping on the slope was tricky, but I was determined enough to keep the beasts away to manage it. I kept turning slow circles to make sure they kept their distance on all sides, but they followed me with every step I took, keeping a tight circle around me. I don't think I have ever before felt so vulnerable or desperate, and I was immensely relieved when I was finally able to press my back to the rock so I didn't have to continue turning.
It was then that I heard a scraping noise and looked to my right to see two of the beasts clawing at the boulder blocking off the cave, trying to dig through the small crack I had left. Bright flashes made them flinch back repeatedly as, I assume, Starscream fired his null ray at the boulder to keep them away. Either that or to make himself some light. Or both.
The beasts fled my own light once I was close enough, and I called to Starscream to make sure he stopped firing while I was trying to get back inside. Being hit by his null ray while I was outside with these ravenous monsters was the last thing I wanted. It took several excruciatingly long and careful moments to ease back the boulder enough for me to get back inside while making sure I didn't let any of the monsters in as well. In order to do so, I had to keep my back to the boulder which just made the task even harder, but I finally managed to toss the two dead beasts at Starscream and close off the entrance, blocking us from the outside world.
That was two full cycles ago. My headlights were still on to give Starscream light as he worked with the bodies of the monsters and the energon converter. I didn't want to distract him since he was working with such focus, and I didn't really need to ask him what he was doing anyway. He was trying different body parts at a time, the brain first, then the blood, making one cube out of each part, and he was waiting for the results for the final component in the first creature, its bones.
A bright flash and a small explosion against the boulder covering the cave entrance told me everything I needed to know since five previous cubes had met the same fate. It was toxic no matter what body part he used.
"Is it still better than the snakes?" I asked when he furiously kicked away the second creature's body and rubbed his face wearily.
"It's worse," he growled. "Ingest one made from these things, and I don't know what will happen, but it'll be worse than hand tremors."
I thought back to what I had seen - how the flying beasts were killing every single snake they could find as well as each other. By now, there may not have been any snakes left in the area.
"What are we going to do?" I really shouldn't have asked that. Neither of us knew. We had been focused on the hope that the new creatures would make less poisonous energon than the snakes, so we had not had a contingency plan.
At least he didn't snap at me for asking it, a testament to how tired he was as well. He just leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling of the cave, lost in thought for quite a while.
I looked back down at my arm and gave a small shudder; I was still amazed at the amount of damage those awful things had done in less than a moment. Most of the outer plating was gone from my shoulder all the way to the tips of my fingers. It looked grisly, but, thankfully, it didn't hurt nearly as much as it looked like it should. Still, I worked to kickstart my internal repair systems to close off the wounds, not wanting dirt to get into my wiring.
"Hook it up to me," Starscream finally spoke after nearly another cycle. I looked up from where my arm was almost closed up with thin, emergency sheeting, confused. "The converter," he clarified. "Hook it up to me."
I couldn't imagine why he wanted me to do that. Actually, I could, and I didn't like the conclusion I came to and had no problem telling him just that.
"No. That's not only contradictory to what we're trying to do, it's also dangerous given your condition."
"Don't be stupid," he scoffed. "I'm not going to siphon my own energy. Energy and biofield spikes can provide just enough power to fill a cube. Now hook the slagging thing up to me."
I knew what he was saying, but it still took me a moment to truly accept it even as I did as he told me, connecting him to the energon converter through a hole in the glass of his cockpit. "Spikes...?" I repeated stupidly as he turned on the converter and made a cube to fill. Surely, he wasn't serious or at least didn't mean what I thought he meant.
"You know what I mean," he grumbled, raising his hand to his throat where his fingers began to manipulate the sensitive plating around his throat. Okay, he was serious. "Systemic overload through either interfacing or intense pain is the highest concentration of energy we can release with our own bodies short of siphoning," he clarified even though I wasn't quite listening at that point. "I ought to be able to make two or three before I get too tired."
"Y-You're not suggesting..." I trailed off, hoping he wasn't. To be honest, I'm not sure if I was disappointed or relieved when he snorted in response.
"No, I wouldn't dream of having the High and Mighty Optimus Prime do such a thing to a lowly Decepticon." The sarcasm was sharp enough to cut. "I have one hand left - I can use it." At my stupefied stare, he stopped his ministrations long enough to return the expression of incredulity. "Don't tell me you've never heard of self-stimulation."
I tried to look offended when, in fact...no, I hadn't ever heard of that before. I'd never known such a thing was possible - to send oneself into sensory overload without a partner? I mentally swatted myself for the thought that bubbled into being that only Starscream could have thought of such a thing. "But..." I started then trailed off again, not sure what I was going to say anyway. I didn't quite want to believe what he was proposing he do, but as he then pointed out:
"Do you have any better ideas?" he snapped, making me flinch in spite of myself. I didn't, and he knew it, so he didn't wait for an answer, concentrating on fondling his own throat, trailing his fingers over plates and cables I knew had to be sensitive to that kind of touch if they were anything like my own. "I need you to watch the converter and switch out cubes when they fill up - we can worry about actually converting them later." He caught my pensive, and probably embarrassed, expression and glared at me. "Either shut up and concentrate on the converter or quit acting like a wibbling idiot and help me out. I can't do this very quickly with just one hand." That snapped me out of my shocked stupor, and I meekly dragged the energon converter over to me and turned my back to him.
Wibbling idiot? I wanted to be offended, but I couldn't be - the vocabulary reminded me too much of the twins. He had a point even though I was still reeling from the fact that he'd even thought of it, much less was doing it. The energon made from such a comparatively weaker source of energy wouldn't be very strong, but at least it wouldn't be toxic, and even if he could only make two, it would only take one to get his own energy back up, so we would still be able to profit from it.
That didn't make it any less wrong that I was witnessing it though. Systemic overload is something which should be shared only with one you trust, and I knew he didn't trust me even after all this time. He trusted me enough to check his gruesome wounds, but that was it. What he was doing was special, it was private, it was...
...actually working.
The tiny sparks dancing inside the cube and mocking my embarrassment were proof of that. It was far from usable, but he seemed to be determined to make it work. I just wished I could turn off my audio receptors as easily as I could my optics.
Since the cube was filling slowly, I tried to find something else to concentrate on other than what he was doing right behind me. I dragged the still intact corpse of the second creature over to me to examine it since I hadn't had a chance while fleeing them earlier and had busied myself with my arm afterward.
It looked a lot like the snakes, confirming Starscream's theory that the snakes had evolved from the flying beasts. Its mouth was nearly identical though it split into five wedges instead of six to form a gruesome star, each still rowed with dozens upon dozens of razor sharp teeth. It had no eyes that I could find and probably saw using some sort of sound generation which would explain the crooning noise they made.
It had two sets of wings; the two closer to its shoulders were nearly as long as my arm with very few bones just along the top ridge. The rest of the wing was nothing but thick, leathery skin and muscle. The two wings below those were the exact same but only half as long. It amazed me that they could fly with such strange, primitive wings that seemed to be so limited in range of movement, but alien life never ceases to defy expectations, especially those of a non-explorer like myself who wasn't accustomed to discovering new forms of life.
I jumped and swore inwardly when Starscream's vents hissed to life behind me to cool his systems. I had almost forgotten what he was doing in my scrutinizing of the monster. Since I was distracted anyway, I took the opportunity to check on the energon cube and was surprised to see that it was already full. Quickly switching it with an empty one to resume the process, I held up the full one to examine the energy dancing inside it. It was a bright blue lightning, not unlike the sparks that danced over one's body after overload which I supposed made sense considering what he was doing to make it.
Slag me - I had to think about that, didn't I?
I shook my head and returned to examining the flying creature, quickly deciding that I needed to think of something to call it other than "flying creature" or any other incarnation - the snakes were easy to refer to; these things were not unless I named them myself. I wanted to ask Starscream if he had assigned a name to them when he originally surveyed the planet, but that would require interrupting him and possibly turning around to face him, so I would think of my own name for them if only temporarily.
Its tail was long enough to wrap around my leg twice, and it had no back legs, only two tiny arms placed near where I assumed its chest was, bearing on each hand three claws as long as my own fingers. Unlike the snakes whose heads were rounded and undecorated, these beasts had bony crests at the base of their skull. I couldn't see any practical use for them unless they acted to reduce wind resistance when they flew. All of these observations brought to mind something I had seen in the folklore of Earth so many years ago - a mythical creature with bony, webbed wings, a serpentine body, no back legs, and two small arms. The images I remembered were only barely similar, but they were similar enough for me to decide to, at least for now, refer to these beasts as wyrms.
Unfortunately, deciding on the name meant I no longer had a distraction.
I idly ran my fingers over the new, thin plating covering the wounds on my arm, noting how sensitive it was which was understandable. It felt as if my fingers were brushing across the circuitry directly. Emergency plating was much, much thinner than normal covering, designed to close wounds during times of crisis and nothing more - just long enough to keep vital circuitry covered from the elements and further injury until someone medically trained could be reached to fully repair the wounds. Unfortunately, we had no such facilities, so the emergency plating was going to be permanent for as long as we remained on this Primus forsaken planet. Considering how much of it now covered my arm, it didn't bode well. I would possibly lose function of my arm if it sustained further damage. As long as we didn't have to go back outside for any reason and face the wyrms, I would be okay, but a year is too long to plan ahead so far when there are so many unpredictable factors.
I looked up at the cave ceiling to watch how the shadows cast by my headlights played along the rock, thinking about that. If this really did turn out to be the only way we could make the non-toxic energon we needed to survive, I couldn't stay embarrassed about it forever, and a more rational part of me pointed out that, if that was the case, I also couldn't expect Starscream to be the only one to do all the work making it. That thought made me even more embarrassed and almost disgusted. The disgust was what surprised me. I expected the embarrassment, possibly even humiliation, at the thought of trying to stimulate myself into overload, but the disgust was surprising. I suppose it was the thought of him watching and listening to me. At least I wasn't watching him even if I could still hear him.
It was then that I realized I hadn't actually heard much, and that realization derailed my train of thought yet again. For one so outspoken and...well, screechy all the time, he was being extremely quiet, especially considering what he was doing. I took a moment to switch the second cube for a new empty one before I let my curiosity get the better of me and glanced over my shoulder.
If his silence had bestowed upon me any doubts that he really was doing what he said he would, the expression on his face quickly dissipated them. His optics were dim, his head tilted back to rest against the cave wall, his mouth was open as if he wanted to make some noise of pleasure but couldn't, and he looked to be in complete ecstasy. His hand was busy tracing his fingers over something inside a crevice in his armor, the junction between his thigh and pelvic armor. I couldn't imagine what it was, but every time he touched it, a shudder coursed through him, his hips squirming on the ground in an attempt to make it more accessible. Whatever he was manipulating was extremely sensitive. His vent was working hard to keep his systems cool, what remained of the other vent sputtering pitifully in its attempt to do its share. Embarrassed though I was, I was also...intrigued.
He wasn't involving his spark at all, and that was very interesting. That was probably why I had never heard of self-stimulation before - the fact that he was able to gradually bring himself to overload with only touch was unheard of among Autobots, not just to me. Stimulating the right cables, circuits, and plating was only a precursor, what humans called foreplay, but what brought us to true sensory overload was the joining of two lovers' spark energy, something which could not be experienced alone.
I couldn't help myself at that point, too curious and intrigued - I watched his hand as he continued to toy with whatever was so sensitive in his leg, watched how it made his whole body quiver. His hand reluctantly left his leg and went up to the intake on his chest, fingers tracing around the edge before his hand went back to his throat, fingers twisting a wire that made him jerk in response. I could tell he didn't have much control over his hand at this point considering the way his fingers were trembling, marking how close he was as he moved it back down to that spot in his leg. It only took a moment longer for his whole body to seize up in overload - his back bowed, sparks of blue danced over the exposed circuitry in his side, and he shuddered convulsively for several moments, his leg and hand jerking together as he rode out the sensations, trying, probably unconsciously, to draw it out as long as he could, and, curiously, not once during the entire sequence did he make a sound.
I looked away when he finally slumped back against the cave wall, quivering from aftershocks. I felt filthy for watching something which was supposed to be private, but I couldn't find my voice to apologize for it - all I could do was look away. I was shocked to see that the third energon cube had already been completely filled, primarily by the sensory overload. It was still strange that such an act could possibly save us or at least hold us over until the suns rose again.
"How many?" he croaked once he was coherent enough to speak, probably still too tired to ask the whole question though I knew what he meant.
"Three," I answered. How convenient that my voice now decided to work. I didn't look at him when he sighed disappointedly, instead busying myself removing the third cube and placing it with the first two. I couldn't shake the shame I felt for watching when I could have easily looked away, but at the same time, I also couldn't shake the curiosity and intrigue that stemmed from watching. Such a powerful overload just from touch...it was unfathomable, yet he had just managed it - I had the proof in front of me flickering inside the third cube, and staring at it, I couldn't help but wonder if I could do that.
The thought was embarrassing and shameful, but I wondered it nonetheless and even found myself trying to think of how best to do it. Curiosity is sometimes a very bad thing.
The converter had automatically made a fourth cube to fill, and I jumped when I noticed a blue spark flickering in it. I looked sharply back to Starscream to see his fingers digging back into that junction in his leg. He was exhausted, but he was trying to do it again, not satisfied with the small number he had made.
"Stop that!" I snapped, appalled, and reached forward to jerk the cable out of him. I earned a surprised and stupefied stare from him. It was vaguely reminiscent of the first day he had awakened when I had offered him the first energon cube and he stared at me as if I was crazy for not taking it for myself. "You're weak enough - if you try that again before recovering, you could do permanent damage to yourself."
"It needs to be done," he countered heatedly. "We're both way too low - three isn't enough, especially since it's going to be low quality anyway."
"Then I'll do it." That completely slipped out without warning, but I couldn't take it back. Besides, it was the truth. I hated it, but it was only fair - I couldn't expect him to do everything, especially in his condition, and, after all, I had watched him. It was only fair that I reciprocated.
And I was still curious as to whether or not I could do the same thing.
He gave me a look which I could only assume was shock, but he didn't say anything as I moved the energon converter over to him so he could switch out the cubes. I couldn't bring myself to look at him anymore as I pulled open my access panel in my torso just below my chest plate and hooked myself up to the converter and fidgeted from embarrassment, still trying to figure out how best to go about something I had no idea was even possible before then.
Sighing inwardly, I tried to just swallow my pride and stared off to the side, finding a very interesting patch of rock to analyze as my right hand drifted up to my still intact antenna, thinking of the areas that had felt best when stimulated by others in the past. While I certainly had not been with as many as Starscream probably had, if rumors could be believed at all, I had still been with a few very skilled Cybertronians who had mapped out my pleasure points to find the places that made me squirm the most. I just had to remember where they were for myself-
There it was.
I quickly shut off my vocal processor before any noise could escape my throat. I was embarrassed enough about this, and while Starscream was disturbingly quiet during his sequence, I...well, I'm loud. Loud enough that about seven members of the Autobot army once broke into my quarters thinking I was being murdered only to find an infuriatingly amused Jazz on top of me with his hands inside my chassis. Slag him for being such a tease. I briefly wondered if Starscream had done the same and that was why he had been so quiet, but my fingers found that spot on my antenna again, and I couldn't be bothered to think about that anymore.
I shut off my optics in a feeble attempt to pretend I was alone as signals sent to my central processor began to heat my body, gears and cables beginning to hum in vibration. I'm not sure which surprised me more - the fact that it was working or the fact that I was aroused so quickly. Then again, my antennae had always been one of the more sensitive parts of my body, that and a bundle of wires behind my pelvic armor. At least the sensitivity of my antennae made sense - they had to be to analyze and receive airborne communications and other environmental changes though I was not nearly as proficient at the task as Jazz and Prowl. The wires in my pelvic area were probably sensitive because they were so rarely exposed.
I'm not quite sure when I quit acting like a "wibbling idiot" and finally allowed myself to relax enough to enjoy what I was doing. I momentarily completely forgot about where I was and who I was with and focused instead on old memories of Jazz's claws in my chest strumming various wires I didn't even know I had at the time just to see how much he could get me to squirm. He could be downright infuriating when he tried, but then he'd dig a claw underneath a panel, and I'd stop caring. I think I bucked his smaller frame right off of me a few times, but he never complained. In fact, I think it just amused him more.
Since I was already delving into the land of memories, I dug further back to a time before we knew Earth existed, and I found one of my favorite memories of Elita-1. We were just friends for the most part - it was a coupling of convenience fueled only by lust, but we neither complained nor regretted it. She had talented hands too, and just like Jazz, she seemed to get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of seeing how much she could get me to squirm. Her favorite area to tease me was that bundle of wires in my pelvic area, and I remember how she used to take each one between her slender fingers and stroke every visible part from top to bottom.
I was startled out of my reminiscing when my whole body began to shake. My optics flickered, and I could feel a swell of energy in my chest coming from my spark chamber as it tried to send out a pulse to a lover who wasn't there. With my chest closed though, the pulse had nowhere to go but back inside me, dispersing through every wire and circuit in my body, and just as the first faded, that sent me into an immediate second overload which made me lose my grip on my vocalizer, and I let out a choked scream that echoed through the cave.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to quit trembling and stop staring blankly at the wall in front of me, my vents and the smokestacks on my shoulders working hard to cool my overheated systems. When I finally tore my gaze from the rock, humiliation washed over me anew as I looked down to find my hand still inside my pelvic armor. I had wrenched the right side loose while I was lost in memories and sensations. Mortified, I quickly closed it and latched it shut then just sat staring at my hands in my lap for a while. I had never done such a thing before, and it was humiliating not only to know I had an audience for it but also to have overloaded myself twice doing it, and much as I wanted to, I couldn't deny that I'd enjoyed it immensely. A greater sense of shame came over me when I realized the fact that I did have an audience was actually a little arousing. Still, I couldn't bring myself to look up from my lap - I didn't want to see if he had watched the whole thing or minded his own business.
A small energon cube dropped into my lap and tore my attention from my embarrassment, and I reluctantly glanced over to my right to see him work on converting a third cube with the machine, the second already processed cube in his mouth where he was sucking it for all he was worth to ingest every last drop of energon. It was stupid to feel a little better just because he wasn't looking at me, but I did anyway. I made short work of the cube he passed me and let my head roll back to rest against the cavern wall with a relieved sigh as I felt the non-toxic energy spread through my systems. I hadn't had non-toxic energon in far too long, and I'd nearly forgotten how good it felt, much better than the way the wyrm-made energon burned my piping and made me twitch all over. It wasn't the best quality, but it would do nicely.
"How many?" I finally had the nerve to ask, keeping my gaze on the rocky ceiling. The embarrassment was returning now that I was somewhat re-energized, and once again, I couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Six," he answered after he was satisfied the cube he had been working on was completely drained dry. "So nine total." That just embarrassed me even more since he was only able to make three. Granted, I had my whole body while he only had half. Plus, he hadn't overloaded twice... "The quality's barely worth it," he was saying, "but it's better than that corrosive slag you've been making. It'll at least keep us alive." I nodded and finally looked at him again, reluctantly convincing myself that I couldn't refuse to look at him forever just because I was embarrassed, especially since this would have to become a regular occurrence to keep us functioning properly. "Wibbling idiot" indeed.
He was stretched out as best he could get, fingers drumming against his thigh very near to the place he kept stimulating earlier. It was then that I noticed the exposed circuitry in his side was sparking faintly as it had when he had overloaded himself earlier, something which should have stopped quite a while ago. His intakes and vents were still humming to cool his systems as well, and his optics were dimmed slightly and a little glazed.
Even I didn't need long to figure out what he had done, and the realization that he had overcharged himself again while watching me was even more humiliating than the fact that he had simply watched. He countered my horrified stare with a grin that seemed to say, About time you figured it out.
The grin widened as he opened his mouth to speak, and I shook my head vigorously. Don't you say it - don't you dare say it--
"If it's any consolation, you put on quite a show."
"I hate you."
